Adult Attachment in Relationships



Adult Attachment in Relationships

Topic Proposal

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love, I chose this book because I have been married twice and always seem to pick the wrong people. People have the “bad boy” attitude and seem to continually look past the nice guy. Not only did it sound interesting to me but I'm hoping it also can help me learn a few things as far as relationships go.

In reading the reviews of the various books that were listed, I can across subjects in this book that struck my interest. It defines three different types of relationship personalities: ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back, AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness and SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. It also explained how nearly all people, up to 96%, fit into one of these categories.

This being said, as we analyze what category we fit into and how categories interact with other categories, I am hoping to have a better understanding of the type of person I should be looking for when it comes to a relationship.

It also analyzes our need to be in a relationship and the healthy steps we should take in an attempt to not only protect ourselves but help to build a long lasting, meaningful relationship.

I have always been encouraged to become a strong, independent woman and this may be exactly what is getting in the way of my ability to find the relationship that I am looking for. I am hoping to gain some insight and how to find and maintain a relationship that is beneficial to all parties involved.

Discussion & Analysis

Summary

In this book, the authors Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller have examined some relevant aspects of attachment theory and relate it to the phenomenon of sustained love. Before this book, different authors and researchers has focused on explaining the attachment theory in the light of parent/child relationship, however, Levine and Rachel has explored a new of dimension of relationship that was explained with the help of attachment theory, i.e. adult romantic relationships (Amir and Rachel, 2012).

The attachment theory is a field of psychology that deals with relations between human beings. Its basic principle is that a young child needs to experience a normal social and emotional development, to develop an attachment relationship with at least one person who takes care of him in a coherent and continuous ("caregiver" ). This theory was formalized by the psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, after the work of Winnicott, Lorenz and Harlow.

In this book, the authors have tried to explain the phenomenon of attachment theory in a new and revolutionary perspective. The authors have mentioned three ways in which a person, in relationship, behaves (Amir and Rachel, 2012):

Anxious: This situation happens when the ...