Effects of Bereavement on Children

The definition of bereavement, (which literally means to be deprived by death) is the objective event of loss caused by the death of someone significant (Ott). During a person's life there will be many varied experiences of loss, but the individual's responses to loss and bereavement will be dissimilar to one another. Death is hard to deal with for everyone, but for children especially. Studies show that children view death in various ways at different age periods (Holland 247-311). During these ages children need help and guidance from their parents and or social workers during the grieving process.

The first step is to help them feel a part of the whole experience, doing this will allow them to deal with the death. Counseling by the parent or social worker is the next step. The main roles for this person should be to just listen while the child talks; this is especially helpful for understanding the child's inner feelings. It is also valuable because it gives the child a chance to express his/her self which in turn relieves certain tensions such as anxiety, helplessness, gloom and hopelessness. In order to help children get through the grieving process the helper, be that parent or social worker, must consider the age and maturity level of the child and counseling should be centered on the limitations of those statistics.

Infants are one group with no real understanding of death, but they react to the ways their parents' actions change due to a loss. When the physical love that a parent can provide is suddenly missing, the child will usually have fears of separation. Infants are also very tuned in to their parents' feelings of stress and sadness (Beardslee Bemporad Keller and Klerman 52-63). In relation to these feelings there might be noted physical expressions such as: crying, crankiness, rashes and clinging. Parents may need bereavement counseling during this period just before or prior to the death, and should not feel weak or inept for seeking such help. Parents may also seek support and help from family and friends; talking about the loss is considerably advantageous. Repressing these feelings of grief will ultimately affect the parent/s and the child unconsciously. Parents should try spending extra time than usual each day with the child to ensure a secure feeling and avoid detachment. Studies have proven that children who are physically touched and cared for develop better and more fully, so loving them, patting them and holding them often does worlds of help (Kirk and McManus 23-41).

For children ages two and a half to five; this is the stage at which the child is likely to confuse death as a reversible event like sleeping. During this age range children may perceive the death of someone close to them as a punishment for something they have done; its important to make sure they know this is not so. Children of this age are egocentric and believe everything that happens to be caused by them or that ...