Marriages in Ancient Greece

Marriages in Ancient Greece

Marriages in ancient Greece were arranged by the parents of the intended bride and groom. A financial arrangement was made between the families in the form of a dowry. Girls married between the ages of fourteen to eighteen, while typically men married in their twenties or even thirties. Spartan men continued to live in the barracks, even after the wedding, until they reached the age of thirty when they could move home with their wives.

Priests did not direct weddings in ancient Greece. Instead, a set of rituals was followed, after which the couple would live together. The rituals started with baths. The groom then would go to the bride's house in a chariot or a cart. A feast may be held at the bride's father's house, after which the groom would take his bride back to his parents' house. They were greeted at the door by the groom's parents and led to the hearth. There they were showered with nuts and fruit. The couple then retired to their bedroom. For the wife to be fully accepted into the groom's family, a child had to be conceived from their union.

The kyrios—male head of household—had a prominent role in the life of a woman and it was that of arranging her marriage. Generally, amongst the Athenians, it was the girl's father who prepared this arrangement. Girls did not have many opportunities to meet men, since “respectable” young women were not permitted out frequently. In the event that a girl did go out (most likely to a community or religious festival), she did so accompanied by a chaperone. Therefore, not only was the marriage itself not her own decision, but more often than not, the girl wouldn't even meet her future husband until the night before the wedding.

Marriage, during Classical times, was a legal agreement made amongst men (kyrios and husband-to-be) in front of a witness. Only after this formal betrothal—engue—was finalized, did the preparations for the wedding festivity (gamos) follow. The betrothal made the marriage legally binding. Before the wedding, it was traditional for the bride to offer her childhood toys, as well as her girdle, to Artemis who was believed to be the goddess protector of young virgin girls and pregnant women.

The average age for an Athenian girl to marry was approximately fourteen years old, while the average age for a man was about double. There is much scholarly conjecture about the reasons for this age difference. Some believe that this facilitated the man's control over his wife. However, more conceivably, the ancient belief of young girl's “lustfulness”, coupled with the fact that men married at thirty and could be dead by forty, made this arrangement more advantageous to men since a widow could serve as a wife in several serial marriages. Also, a dying husband could also arrange the future marriage of his own wife.

There are no complete surviving documents describing an Ancient Greek wedding ceremony. Still, researchers have pieced together what this ...