POWER AND CONTROL IN RELATIONSHIPS

Power and Control in Relationships

Power and Control in Relationships

Introduction

Power and control are two of the most significant issues in any relationship. The more trouble the relationship is facing, the more these power and control issues will come to the surface. The better the relationship is working the less power and control issues will be a problem.  A really functional "grown-up" relationship will be marked by the lack of emphasis on issues about power or control. Instead, both the partners will feel closely connected (linkage) while maintaining a strong sense of individuality and independence within the relationship. This is how relationships are meant to be.

Discussion

Any type of abusive relationship is about power and control. These are the two ingredients that an abusive situation is made of. Power and control consist of coercion and threats, intimidation, privilege, isolation, minimizing and blaming, emotional abuse and/or humiliation, economic and/or academic abuse and will turn children and/or mutual friends against you. To understand how power and control works you need to understand how the above components play a factor in abusive relationships.

Coercion and threats: This is when the perpetrator (the abusive person) will threaten to harm you and/or any people that are important to you. This includes family, friends, children and even the family pet. Often they will even threaten suicide if you do not do what you are told to do. Perpetrators also will threaten to reveal secret or private information about you as well.

Intimation: This is when perpetrators cause you to be fearful by using looks, gestures and actions such as yelling or smashing things. Another method of intimation is abusing pets, destroying your property and violation of your personal boundaries(GORMAN 2004).

Privilege: Perpetrators will treat you like a servant, make all the decisions, discredit you, speak for ...