THE EFFECT OF PROXIMITY IN CHOOSING A RELATIONSHIP

The Effect of Proximity in choosing a Relationship Partner



The Effect of Proximity in choosing a Relationship Partner

Introduction

Human beings are social animals by their intrinsic nature who cooperate with each other in meeting their daily needs. There are various reasons why people seek meaningful relationships with others. The reasons differ according to each individual's personality and expectations since Darwin (1859) (cited in Mayr, 1964) argued in his theory of evolution that variations exist within individuals and their behaviours. For example, some people seek meaningful relationships in search of romantic and sexual pleasures, whilst others choose relationships for social affiliation. For whatever reason each individual might decide to seek any kind of relationship, the obvious point is that people do not like to be alone.

Experts in different academic fields have devoted an enormous amount of time studying the need for relationships, the mechanisms involved for humans to get into relationships and the ways human relationships could be improved (Duck, 1988). Duck noted that personal relationship with a fellow human being is one of the greatest sources of our happiness for daily living. Fischer (1982) made the following assertion about relationships:

'Our day to day lives are preoccupied with people, with seeking approval, providing affection, exchanging gossip, falling in love, soliciting advice, giving opinions, soothing anger, teaching manners, providing aids, making impressions, keeping in touch-or worrying about why we are not doing these things' (p.2). The first criterion in a choosing a love partner is the physical attraction. For the great majority the idea that the looks determine how much we are liked by the others seems to be not so "democratic" because this is not something we can control, it is more like our genetic inheritance. Old studies show the beauty is not so important in picking out a partner, but it seems that things have changed in the last decades. Researchers found out that physical beauty is not important only for the first date, but also in the following ones and even in marriages. But why is physical beauty so important? One answer can be that our social reputation and our self-esteem are increased when we are together with a handsome companion. Fortunately, there is still hope for those of us who are not so pretty. According to a great number of psychologists the importance of physical beauty is diminished when choosing a permanent life partner.

The second influential factor is the so called proximity. Studies carried by the well-known social psychologists Festinger, Schachter and Back have shown that the best predictor in showing whether two individuals will remain friends or not is the distance between the places where they live. Analyzing 5000 married couples from Philadelphia these scientists discovered that half of them where living at no more than 5 streets distance - before getting married. Some people who believe in miracles regarding issues of the hearts might think that out there, in the world is their special ...