Open Relationships

An open relationship is a committed relationship in which the partners are free to have emotional and/or physical relationships with other partners, often within mutually agreed limits. If a couple in an open relationship are married, it can be called an open marriage. Some relationships place strict restrictions on partners (e.g. polyfidelity); such relationships are polyamorous, but not open. Some relationships permit sex outside the primary relationship, but not love (e.g. swinging); such relationships are sexually non-monogamous but not polyamorous or open. Some polyamorists do not accept the dichotomies of "in a relationship/not in a relationship" and "partners/not partners"; without these divisions, it is meaningless to class a relationship as 'open' and 'closed' (http://www.springerlink.com). Some polyamorists consider 'polyamory' to be their philosophical orientation — they believe themselves capable and desirous of multiple loves — whereas 'open relationship' is used as a logistical description: that is, it is how their polyamory is expressed or implemented. They would say of themselves, for instance, "I am polyamorous; my primary partner and I have an open relationship (with the following ground rules).... (http://www.springerlink.com)"

A recent poll of the sexual activity of European nations showed that Britons were the most likely to be unfaithful to their partners. Results showed eight out of 10 women and six out of 10 men admitting they had cheated on a long term partner (http://www.google.com). Yet the deceit and dishonesty that goes hand-in-hand with infidelity is still one of the biggest causes of heartbreak and failure within a relationship. So does the open relationship answer this age old dilemma, do they work in the long term and what are the benefits and drawbacks?

According Dr Robin Baker, a leading practitioner in the physiology of sexual behaviouralism, the biological reason we're unfaithful lies with our reproductive strategy. This is the method by which we assure we get the most opportunities to breed with the best possible partners (http://www.google.com). A close study of the process of conception has shown that sperm are designed to engage in a battle with other sperm to conceive. And female physiology is designed to encourage this. This suggests that biologically we are not predisposed towards monogamy (http://www.springerlink.com). It has also shown that, contrary to popular belief, men are not as inclined to sow their wild oats as women are to reap them (www.nytimes.com). Dr Ruth Norman, a behavioural psychologist with an interest in polygamy, has an unorthodox view on the subject. "Monogamous or polygamous behaviour is an intrinsic part of our sexuality in the same way that homosexuality or heterosexuality is. Some people are naturally inclined to polygamy in the same way that some people are naturally attracted to members of their own sex. It's just that society in general is prejudiced towards those sexual types. (http://badwisdom.egloos.com)"

Rosie Smith, who hosts workshops in polyamorous relationships', claims, "everyone is attracted to, or has sexual thoughts, about someone else when they're in a long term relationship. To suppress and deny those feelings is to suppress a huge part of our sexuality and psychoanalysis ...