Overcome the shyness of speaking

Introduction

Shyness is the ordinary language term most often used to label the emotional state of feeling anxious and inhibited in social situations. As would be expected from a social psychological perspective, situations differ in their power to elicit reactions of social anxiety. Ratings of shyness-eliciting events reveal that an interaction with strangers, especially those of the opposite sex or in positions of authority; encounters requiring assertive behavior; and explicitly evaluative settings such as job interviews provoke the strongest feelings of social anxiety. Quietness, gaze aversion, and awkward body language are the most common behavioral signs of shyness.

Gilmartin, B. G. (1987). Shyness and love: Causes, consequences, and treatment. Lanham, MD: University Press of America

Viewed as an emotional state, shyness is an almost universal experience, with less than 10% of respondents to cross-cultural surveys reporting that they had never felt shy. The ubiquity of shyness raises the question of its possible adaptive value. Contemporary psychologists who take an evolutionary perspective on emotional development point out that a moderate amount of wariness regarding strangers and unfamiliar or unpredictable situations may have considerable adaptive value. Social anxiety is functional when it motivates preparation and rehearsal for important interpersonal events, and shyness helps facilitate cooperative group living by inhibiting individual behavior that is socially unacceptable. Moreover, the complete absence of susceptibility to feeling shy has been recognized as an antisocial characteristic since at least the time of the ancient Greeks. Situational shyness as a transitory emotional state thus appears to be a normal and functional aspect of human development and everyday adult life. There are a number of ways that you can begin to help yourself to overcome anxiety. The approaches we will be using will be under the following headings:

Understanding social anxiety

Negative beliefs and images in social anxiety

Self processing reducing your focus on yourself

Tackling avoidance and safety behaviours

Tackling the physical symptoms of social anxiety;

For some people, however, shyness is more than a temporary situational response; it occurs with sufficient frequency and intensity to be considered a personality trait. About 30% to 40% of adults in the United States label themselves as dispositionally shy persons. Three quarters of the shy respondents said that they did not like being so shy, and two thirds of them considered their shyness to be a personal problem. Although shyness does have some positive connotations, such as modesty or gentleness, it is generally rated as an undesirable characteristic, especially for men. Recent research supports this negative image of the trait by documenting how shyness can be a barrier to personal well-being, social adjustment, and occupational fulfillment.

Carducci, B. J. (2003). The shyness breakthrough: A no-stress plan to help your shy child warm up, open up, and join the fun. Emmaus, PA: Rodale.

Shyness involves a collection of learned reflexes that induces drawing back from contact with people. Thus it is a behavior pattern that is distinguished by hang-ups in social situations. It often interferes with achieving professional as well as interpersonal goals. The good news is that you can ...