TRAUMA OF DIVORCE

Trauma Of Divorce

Trauma Of Divorce

Introduction

Divorce is a time of tremendous upheaval in families. Given this disruption, should the divorce process occur at a point where the child's attachment style is not fully developed, it stands to reason that the likelihood of secure attachment developing is reduced.

it appears well established that we may properly conceptualize divorce as being a form of trauma (uncontrollable, unusual and perhaps persistent, and resulting in long term behavioral change) with special implications for children (depending on attachment style and consistency of environmental contingencies). What are the specific aspects of divorce that create the trauma? And further, what may be done to alleviate or minimize the impact? Finally, what palliative measures may be taken when trauma has been clearly induced as a function of divorce? The balance of this paper is devoted to attempting to provide some working answers to these questions. There are Specific features of divorce that lead to trauma.

Discussion

In divorce proceedings, the most difficult aspect for children (as well as parents) to overcome is the issue of which parent is going to maintain custody. This thorny issue is the single area where mental health professionals (often psychologists) are called upon for expert testimony. The scenarios which lead to the intervention of a psychologist are multi-faceted, but most common is the situation in which the parents cannot agree upon custody determination. Usually, each parent wants to retain sole custody of the child(ren), with the other getting some level of visitation privileges (Carlson, 2002). However, in some instances, parents may agree to some aspects of custody, but pre-existing conditions (such as mental illness) preclude immediate determination of custody. Here again, psychologists are called upon to test the relevant parties for competence and some determination is then made by the courts for custody and visitation arrangements.

In most divorce cases, children are found to have strong fears of their parents fighting over possessions, legal issues and custody battles. The fighting leads to the children's constant worries about being abandoned and the feelings of loneliness and heartache are on the children's mind creating further stress. Anxiety levels peak as they feel, because their parents are so caught up in their own problems and may accidentally neglect the child, that they are going to be abandoned or rejected by one or even both the parents. The long absence of one of the parents causes the feelings of loneliness to first arise and the child may feel like the missing parent has divorced them too. Also the fears of what will become of the missing parent and whether or not they will ever see them again plague the child's mind.

It is at this point that one may view the effects of the divorce process in bold relief. Usually by the time all parties agree to engage in a custody evaluation, the divorce process has been well established and the negative effects have taken hold. Since the parents are not in agreement about either custody outright, or some idiosyncratic ...