WHAT CAUSES PEOPLE TO BE OR BECOME ABUSIVE?



What causes people to be or become abusive?

Abstract

There is no one reason why people abuse others, although there are some factors that seem to make it more likely that a person may become abusive. Growing up in an abusive family, for example, can teach someone that abuse is a way of life. Fortunately, though, many people who grow up in abusive families realize that abuse is not acceptable and are able to break patterns of abuse. Some people become abusive because they are not able to manage their feelings properly. For example, people who are unable to control their anger or people who can't cope with stressful personal situations (like the loss of a job or marital problems) may lash out at others inappropriately. Certain types of personality disorders or mental illness can also interfere with a person's ability to relate to others in healthy ways or cause people to have problems with aggression or self-control. Of course, not everyone with a personality disorder or mental illness becomes abusive.

What causes people to be or become abusive?

Introduction

People have difficulty understanding the motives of people who are involved in abuse. Why people choose to abuse other people is a common question. Why (adult) people who are being abused choose to stay in abusive relationships is another. Both of these questions have easy answers and even the strongest attempt to educate you as to why people might make these seemingly irrational choices will not lead to complete understanding. Abuse situations must be lived in and experienced before their internal logic makes any sense. However, we can try to do our best to understand(Dominquez, 2002).

Discussion

Why Do People Abuse?

The first question, "Why do people abuse other people?" has multiple answers. Some abusers learned to abuse from their parents. Their early history consisted of receiving abuse themselves and/or seeing others abused (one parent abusing the other or their sibling, etc.). As a consequence, abuse is the normal condition of life for these people. Such people internalized a particular relationship dynamic, namely the complementary roles of "abuser" and "victim". They are familiar with and fully understand the terror of being the helpless victim from their own childhood experience. The opposite of being a victim is not simply opting out of abuse; it is instead, to be abusive. Given the choice between being the out-of-control victim, or the in-control abuser, some of these people grow up to prefer the role of the abuser. As they become adults, they simply turn this relationship dynamic around and start acting out the "abuser" side of the relationship dynamic they have learned. By choosing to be the aggressor and abuser, they may get their first sense of taking control over their own destiny and not being at the mercy of others. That they hurt others in the process may go unregistered or only occur as a dim part of their awareness. (Faller, 1993)

Abusive behavior can also result from mental health issues or ...