PERSONAL COMMUNICATION

Happiness Means to Other

Happiness Means to Other

Mr. John Smith is 60 years old male living in Philadelphia and works in NGO as a social worker. Mr. Michael Clark is a 25 years old University student living in Philadelphia.

Interview with John Smith

Question: Hello, Mr. John. I want to ask few questions if you do not mind.

Response: Hi, it would be my pleasure if I can help you.

Question: you have spent your 60 years of life, so I want to ask what is the definition of happiness according you or what do you mean by happiness?

Response: What do I mean? If you gain happiness from eating, you will probably eat every time you are unhappy to achieve happiness. But what is the consequence? You will probably gain weight, eat when you are stressed, live an unhealthy lifestyle, etc. If you never formed the belief that, “being healthy will give me happiness” then you will chase after anything that will give you short-term happiness instead of the lifelong happiness you truly value.

I can honestly say having a solid belief structure for this value is essential. How do I know? I led a life of addiction to drugs and alcohol for a few years of my life because it gave me what I thought was happiness.

Question: So, you used to think that drug and alcohol is life, how this belief changed over time?

Response: Alcohol and drugs were the fastest ways to gain pleasure throughout my college career and, man, did I need happiness. I was pursuing a career path I did not like, I went through a lot of breakups and unsuccessful relationships, I was hundreds of miles away from home in another state away from my friends, and many other factors.

I needed happiness in my life, but, I never defined a core belief system to what makes me truly happy. So what was my outcome? Drinking myself stupid and getting high as a kite give me happiness, pleasure, and instant gratification. These strong, pleasurable states they put me in made my mind associate them with happiness. So the belief became:

“If I take drugs and drink alcohol, then I will feel happy.”

This belief was so strong because of the pleasurable reality it gave me; I mentioned this a bit in the My Neuro-Associations post. However, what I did not realize when I created that belief system in my head, I created an even more ...