The fundamental elements of the communication process

Interpersonal communication is the interaction between two or more people. Good interpersonal communication skills are essential in the creation and maintenance of relationships with others. Dwyer (2009, p.62) explains that in any context, our relationships are built through our interpersonal communication. Self concept, emotional intelligence, assertive behaviour, empathy and the ability to actively listen and provide feedback are all desirable interpersonal communication tools considered necessary to maintain relationships and aid in conflict resolution.

Dwyer (2009, p. 152) states that Conflict arises when needs are not met. Those needs can be physical, financial, social, educational, intellectual, recreational or spiritual, tangible or intangible. However, even in a situation of conflict, it is possible, by finding areas of common ground, to remove some of the differences and to emphasise the similarities while tackling the conflict and working towards the solution. Good interpersonal communication skills help to create an understanding between persons in conflict whereby they can make common ground and have a better understanding of where the other party is coming from. Dwyer (2009, p. 175) explains that Conflict expressed and addressed in ways that respect relationships and consider as many needs as possible is positive and constructive.

How perception affects communication

Dwyer (2009, p. 166) mentions that Acting assertively in a conflict situation means standing up for your rights and expressing what you believe, feel and want in direct, honest and appropriate ways that respect the rights of the other person. Dwyer (2009, p. 76-77) explains that four stage I statements are the best way to send clear messages to another party when conflict arises. In a four part I message, the feelings are owned, the behaviour that is causing the feeling is described in concrete words, the effect of the behaviour is stated in concrete, factual words, and an alternative acceptable behaviour is offered. The formula in the four part message is Following this formula, an assertive message could be “I feel annoyed when you dont let me know you will be late, because I am unable to reschedule my timetable. I would like you to ring me and let me know you will be late.” The fourth part of the message is used to suggest, initially, an alternative acceptable behaviour. Being assertive in this manner helps individuals increase their self esteem by confronting conflict situations in a positive light, emotions are put aside and the real issues behind the conflict is resolved.

Quite often conflict becomes an emotional battle, with both parties releasing their anger and frustration onto each other. Emotion takes over and the conversation and the general topics of disagreement are usually lost. Lewicki, Litterer, Minton and Saunders (1994, p. 6) mentions that conflicts tend to become emotionally charged as the parties become anxious, irritated, annoyed, angry or frustrated. Emotions tend to dominate thinking, and the parties may become more emotional and irrational as the conflict escalates. Being able to recognise when you or the other party is losing track of conversation or becoming emotionally involved ...