Grief Recovery

Grief Recovery



Grief Recovery

Introduction

Grief and loss are the two most intertwined experiences. As we live in this sin-marred world, loss is inevitable thus grief occur in many different ways. This essay will be studying the subject of Counseling for Grief and Loss, by giving not only their definitions but also exploring related issues, such as the responses towards grief and loss, counseling and pastoral care techniques, and lastly the subject of children and grief.

Counseling Grief

Counseling could be used as an aid to the healthy grief, thus "to cooperate with the psyche's inner process of recovery", or in particular, when "the grief wound that does not heal", professional counseling is needed rather than merely pastoral care (Grollman, 1993). This could be done either with individuals, or in a group situation which is homogeneous in nature - a widow/widower group, or a divorcee group or even a group of people who all have lost their loved ones in a natural or moral disaster - e.g. earthquake, bush fire, plane crash, Granville Bridge, war, etc.

Several components are needed in grief counseling as tasks for both the counselor and the bereaved to accomplish for effective loss resolving.

Counselor

Bereaved

Remain open to the loss

Perceive the openness

Be empathic

Express one's feelings

Encourage reminiscing

Reminisce

Insist on the loss

Acknowledge the loss

Table 1

Similar but more comprehensive to the above model, Flatt has suggested the following eleven verbs as important steps in grief counseling: care, learn, attend, control, listen, accept, share, reinforce, innovate, and finally refer if you need to do so (Balk, 2000).

Control

This means that the counselor is not to break down while ministering to others who are grieving. At the first thought, this may seem to contradict with the example of Jesus, who wept with the crowd. Yet here, "control" means to keep a level head, to not "catch the panic". In fact, the more out of control are others, the more in control should be the counselor. This principle also applies to group therapy as when the counselor break down, group members would feel sorry for him/her, and try to help and comfort the counselor. Thus control needs to be operated in order to keep the focus upon their grief not yours (Shurman, 2000).

Reinforce

This means to encourage people and help them towards positive feeling, thinking and acting behavior. In particular when the bereaved is making progress, the counselor encourages with "Good job. You did well! I have a feeling that you will get through". This reinforcement will then helps lift the bereaved up and move him/her forward during the entire grief process. Proper reinforcement helps shape positive behavior (Fitzgerald, 2000).

Innovate

This means to be creative in the methods used in grief counseling. On top of the conventional methods used in therapy, try use other tools the counselor have learned. For example, teaching progressive relaxation, discussing dreams, reading the Bible, even hypnosis could be helpful if used wisely by a well-trained therapist. With a bit of innovation, any counseling method might be adapted and used in grief counseling to ...